101

1O1 Questions People Wouldn't Ask.

OO1. When's the last time you ran? this morning for the train.
OO2. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? yeah on the parts where i stick my heels in when i'm a drunkie.
OO3. What are you dreading right now? physiology
OO4. Do you celebrate 4/20? probably
005. What is your middle name? dolly
006. have you ever been hospitalised? only for asthma when i was a youngun'
007. how do you want to die? upside-down on the pub floor in a pool of my own vomit
OO8. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? occasionally
009. What's your sexy fantasy? haha. i like eating turds.
010. What is your favorite disney movie? High School Musical!
011. Are you happy with your life? Why yes i am.
O12. If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would you do? firstly i would be grumpy at them. then i would go on the computer or watch a dvd or something.
O13. Who last grabbed your ass? probs a random out
O14. Have you ever been on a track team? hahahahahaha! ballgames.
O15. Do you own a pair of Converse?yessy they are pinktastic!
O16. Did you copy and paste this survey? yes
O17. Do you eat raw cookie dough? yes
O18. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? i would say yes
O19. Don't you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing over and over?if a song is good i would play it over and over myself
020. Do you pick your nose? if it has hard bit in definately. but with a tissue.
O21. Do you watch Trading Spaces?yes and i adore it. i always go for the bitchiest one.
O22. How do you eat Oreos? with my mouth and hands
O23. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone?um mebe if i needed something off them.
O24. Are you cocky? no i'm vaginay
O25. If you could choose between being rich forever or being attractive forever what would you pick?obviously it depends on the other conditions but i would say attractive.
O26. Ever played Spin the bottle? yes
O27. What couldn't you live without...MSN or Myspace? out of those two myspace.
O28. Do you or have you ever kept a diary?i go through phases but generally no
O29. Favorite cereal? toast
O3O. Could you live without a computer?definately not
O31. Do you wear your shoes in the house?only slippers
O33. At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real? cannot remember.
O34. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? 8
O35. What do you do when you're sad? ha. drink. play on the internet. get over it.
O36. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? i would probs just msg peeps
O37. Last time you saw your very very best friend?sunday night for eurovision!
O38. Who or what sleeps with you? nobody :(
039. What is your favourite board game? titanic
040. How many true friends do you have (not fam)? hmm twoish.
041. Are you/have you ever been in love? yes. i am in love with everything.
042. What do you do to relax? drinkies, watch tv
043. Are you musical? no i am music.
044. Would you like people to treat you the way you treat yourself? heck no.
045. Is anyone on your bad side now? yes. but i still love them/it.
O46. What jewelry are you wearing? gold sleepers with white beads on them, a gold chain with a wooden butterfly/flower/leaf thingy on it.
O47. What's the first thing you do when you get online? lonelygirl15, myspace, hotmail.
048. Do you believe in a higher power? big brother
O49. Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? very much so
O5O. How do most people spell your name? eliza
051. Did you ancestors struggle through adversity? well the legend it they built their own boat then sailed it here from the uk. but if i know my family they just made that up when they were drunk one time.
052. Who is your favourite family guy character? meg
053. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Being an OT possibly overseas or in the bush. hopefully knocked up to some degree.
O54. Where do you work? bilo at aspley, suncorp stadium, and very occasionally wagamama in the valley
055. If you were a natural disaster what would you be? hmmm. a twister.
O56. What are you doing tomorrow? uni.
O57. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? i sure hope so.
O58. Favorite name for a girl?Charlotte (lottie for short), Lana, Kallima, Lola, Enya, Luyu.
O59. Favorite name for a boy?James, Oliver, Oscar, Tre, Barret, Bem, Zale, Ruhan, Pax.
O6O. Will you keep your last name when you get married? probably
061. Do you Wii? heh sometimes at mumus.
O62. Where was the last place you went when you left your house? the city. on my way home from nuni.
063. Do you snore? when i'm drunk or tired.
064. Are you oldschool? definately
065. Do you enjoy speeding? um no.
066. What is your favourite vegetable? pumpkin!
O67. Do you return your cart? yes!
O68. What are you looking forward to? life
O69. Do you have a dishwasher? no.
O7O. What noise do you hear? my mum walking around and talking.
O71. Would you survive in prison? most people do
O72. Ever fall down the steps? yes.
O73. Do you have a friend with benefits? no all my friends suck
O74. What is one thing you've learned about life? never to contemplate it
O75. Who is the youngest in your family? black
O76. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would be most likely to overpack? claire definately.
O77. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? exactly, no. just the first bit, not really.
O78. Do you believe the statement "bigger is always better"? heck no
O79. Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it? nos!
O80. Do you think any of your ex's still look good? of course they all do! they didn't suddenly become ugly because i broke up with them! geesh.
O81. What color are your eyes? blau
O82. What outfit do you have on at this exact moment? my jean, a white singlet, and a crazy brown and mustard flowers print kaftan. couple sizes too big.
O83. What's the last thing you purchased? two vodka redbulls. heh.
084. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? no. he steals my money.
O85. How many pets do you have? two
O86. Where does your best friend live? chermside west but soon somewhere else.
O87. What color phone do you have?pink and blue and green
O88. Ever been to Georgia? no
O89. Last time you consumed alcohol? around 12.30pm today
O90. Name 5 things you did last night. 1) listed the muscles of the anterior thigh and hip, and their attachement sites, innervation, line of pull and action. 2) brough plain pretzels even though everyone prefers tomato. 3) got hit in the eye by a mosquito. 4)watched spicks and specks 5) applied tooth mousse.
O91. What irritates you most on the internet? when there are regular LG15 posts. seriously. myspaces with craploads of flashing blarg.
O92. What brand is your digital camera? pentax
O93. Do you watch movies with your parents? sure
O94. Last time you kissed someone? mmm probably a month ago.
O95. Where is your pet right now?dog = outside licking dirt. cat = upstair cruing even tho she knows she doesn't get fed until 9ish.
O96. What word best describes your life right now? gastro-intestinal tract.
O97. Who is your weirdest girl friend:claire/erica
O98. Who is your weirdest guy friend:mohofosho
O99. Do you like sushi?moderately so
1OO. Whats your mood right now? hungry
1O1. Last people you hung out with? pearce and liz at nuni.

don't regret what you had to kill

heyhey y'all! it is eliza!!

i'm doing a blogpost because lately i feel different.

i'm not as bright as i was. i've lost my spark and i don't like it.

i love the same people i loved before.

i'm happy and satisfied, but i don't feel the same as i always have.

i've become a perfectionist. i would prefer to study than spend time with friends. it's becoming increasingly difficult to cope with my physical shortcomings.

sometimes i feel like i have self-control. i've never felt that before. i can concentrate. my mind isn't filled anymore.

i get just as drunk as before. i'm equally as reliant on alcohol to cope with this razzamataz we call life. but it doesn't make me happy. it just numbs the feeling. which is good. but it's different.

i've lost my sex drive. and i am my sex drive. i don't want to be with anyone. the thought of a relationship makes me uncomfortable. i feel totally disconnected from the life creating cycle of the human race. i just don't get that side of life anymore.

at first i thought it was good, i was growing up, becoming more mature and reasonable and sensible. but i've realised that i'm not growing up. because i'm not me. eliza isn't sensible or mature or practical or anything like that. i never was and i never will be. i'm growing sideways, and not in the direction i ever would have wanted.

and i can still act how i used to. but it feels so false. i know that i realistically don't care who got evicted from big brother. and that is not me. i'm living in the body of who i used to be, and i can make it do the same things it used to , but i'm different on the inside. a completely different person. so fucking weird!!

it feels like a different person is living in my body.

and without realising it, everybody treats me like the person i've become. they can get away things they never could before. and they don't really understand why, but i'm not the person they want to spend time with anymore. sometimes i feel betrayed and abandoned and alone. but then i remember, it's the old eliza that cares. i'm beginning to understand that this is how i am meant to be treated, because this i who i am.

the craziest thing is i don't really mind. i'm resigned to my fate. i'm comfortable. i'm happy. that's just how the new eliza rolls.

.

trapped